There are many things that change when you have children. Some are expected. Others, you either can’t believe that other parents can manage it or sit there feeling like a failure because you can’t manage it.
Here are the things that still surprise me.
1.I feel like I’ve accomplished something by having a shower. By that, I really mean having a shower without small people either hurtling toys into the toilet while you shower or squirting toothpaste or shower gel around the bathroom. De-fuzzing is often a treat. So when you shave your legs and have to throw the razor away (after each leg), you know you’re a parent of young children.
2.Ahhh bedtime. That sacred time when you have a moment to yourself. It’s just your head is either fried from answering the ‘why’ questions for the 17th time or you are just so tired that it takes a good
20 minutes two hours before you realise Ben and Holly is still on the television and you’ve actually been enjoying it.
3.Before having children, your handbag was a sacred place. No one went in it, even when you gave them permission. Not only do little hands regularly rifle through your bag for dummies, snacks and toys but you actually dread putting your hand in there for fear of finding something sticky, mouldy or worse.
4.I used to regularly match my nail varnish to my outfit for work. Now, I’m lucky of they are all in tact. My nails are varying lengths with many stages of chips and, if you look closely, I probably painted over the last shade rather than take it off and start a fresh.
5.Your bedroom, once your sanctuary, now has a dedicated toy box, a Sooty DVD in the TV and you have to pick out various toys from your bed before you eventually collapse into it. You have even slept cuddling a Disney princess doll and thought phonics cards might be quite cooling stuck to your legs in summer.
*All of the above might be true.
**The piece of mouldy water melon found in my handbag definitely was true and disgusting.