To mark the start of a new series of my favourite programme, One Born Every Minute, I thought I’d let you into a little secret.
I have an embarrassing addiction.
You know how people giving up smoking calculate how much they would save in a year? Well I’ve done it for my obsession. If I stopped buying them, I’d save £203.96 a year. Isn’t that ridicuous?
Do you want to know what it is?
I am ashamed. My name is Emma and I’m a pregnancy-test-a-holic.
Now, it is no secret that I would love to have loads of children. After my six-week check with Boo, I would have gladly had another, there and then. We were getting married though so it had to be held off for a bit and, due to a couple of incidents and a bit of a medical condition on my part, we haven’t yet had another.
We’re not really trying but I still buy the tests.
I have started buying them in shops further and further away from home as I was starting to get paranoid that the lady in the chemist and the checkout staff at my local Sainsburys were beginning to get suspicious.
I think I am so obsessed with babies and my desire to have another that every month, I think my body my mind plays tricks with me.
It starts off maybe a week before my period is due and I convince myself that I might be pregnant so buy a pack of cheap, tests. I do one, it is negative but I kid myself that is too early and that I might still be pregnant.
So then, maybe a day before my period (when my mind is at its most active and all period symptoms are translated into early pregnancy symptoms) I spend around £12 on a Clear Blue test-they’re more sensitive/reliable but this one is negative too.
I then resign myself that I am not pregnant and think I will keep the second cheap test in the box for
a time where I could be at least, a week late next month.
However, the morning that my period is due, I do the other cheap test-just to make triply sure. It is obviously negative.
And then I come on.
This has been going on for nearly three years, give or take a month or two. Three years is a jaw-dropping £600. On a stick that you wee on and gives you a negative result.
I honestly don’t know if there is a cure for my addiction.
I fear my love of programmes like One Born Every Minute is just fuelling my addiction but I can’t stop.
If we don’t have another baby, I am very, very happy with Boo but I would love a little brother or sister for her and us all.
I pray and keep my fingers crossed that one day my dream will come true.
Until then, I’m just nipping to the shop to get another test….