So, a report in today’s Daily Mail (July 31st) says a study has revealed that stay at home mothers are happiest.
It says: “They tend not to suffer from boredom, frustration or feelings of worthlessness, according to the research on Britain’s wellbeing.
Full-time mothers gave the value of their lives a score of eight out of ten, compared to 7.8 for people in work.”
The first thing I did when I read this was laugh-how anyone can get bored looking after children is beyond me. You never get a chance to be bored.
If I had the choice, I would stay at home but I work two days a week and, luckily, my parents look after my daughter so I do not have to worry about child care which, if I had to pay, I would not be able to afford to do so.
There are a few points of contention here though.
Firstly, in our society, the terms, full times mum or stay-at-home mum (SAHM) have negative connotations. Years ago all mothers stayed at home.
Now it seems people think these women are somehow a lesser person.
Surely if paying for childcare would mean you had to work full time and then have no money left over would be pointless?
I know most people don’t have a choice-they have to work to pay bills but sometimes SAHMs don’t help the case here by saying “everyone can afford it, you just have to cut back”-well no. If your mortgage is £1000 a month and your combined family income is £1000 how would you pay bills, buy food, nappies etc?
It is a similar thing with maternity leave. The meagre statutory maternity pay meant that I only just managed to scrape together enough to have six months off. It was awful going back to work. Yes I only worked three days at that time so I should count myself lucky but I sobbed the first day back and to be honest, even now that she is two and a half, I would give up work in a minute to be able to spend more time with her.
I even get a bit envious of mothers who get to have longer maternity leaves with their children.
Also, SAHMs are not viewed as working. However if you are a child minder, it is viewed as a genuine profession so why not being a mum? At least as a child minder you go home at the end of the day. You don’t as a mother.
At a local shop a woman rolled her eyes when referring to “mummies who don’t work” and I thought, how awful that they are judged like that.
Maybe I’m sitting on the fence a bit too much. Just don’t want to offend anyone but truthfully/? I think all mothers should be able to sty at home-even if it is just until school age. All mothers should get six months maternity leave at full pay and then statutory for the final six.
Even if people don’t choose to use such entitlements, it would give the women who have tars in their eyes at desks across the country the opportunity to spend precious time with their babies.
Women who want to stay at home and can afford to do it should be congratulated.
As a working mother (albeit for two days now) I still feel incredibly guilty so surely if someone works full time, the pressure to spend so-called quality time with children is immense.
Stay at home mothers should be supported and not made to feel like they are not doing an amazing job. They are happier after all!
If you want to read the Daily Mail article, click here: