When most ordinary people were sleeping this morning, you could have found me standing on a chair in my kitchen, sorting out my wine rack.
At 5 in the morning? I hear you shout.
Well don’t be phoning alcoholics anonymous on me. There was no wine in there.
Oh no. Our house is not conventional enough to keep wine in a wine rack.
You see, an influx of alcoholic gifts over the festive period has seen me at a loss as to where to keep it all.
I was sure there was a wine rack somewhere in my kitchen but it was filled with so much other stuff that I couldn’t fit anything else into it.
Cue my 5am foray.
I wasn’t up for the love of life.
I was awake with the baby and, with him safely deposited in his highchair, looking bemused to his pyjama clad mother hovering on a stool, I began.
There were some treats in there. Enough lipsticks and gloss to open my own branch of Boots.
Jewellery, allen keys, medication.
A pregnancy test. Seriously, who keeps a pregnancy test in a wine rack?
That would be me.
No more nail files, dog wormers, candles, religious medals, perfume samples, business cards (mine and farm visitors), fragrance oil, toys, crayons, bath paint, flea treatment, antibiotics, sterilising tablets, vitamins, antacids, photographs, unused shop loyalty cards, screws, light bulbs, fabric pens, permanent markers, pens, pencils and, erm..two mouse traps.
The. List was impressive and exhaustive.
I was certainly exhausted at the end of it.
Six shiny bottles of booze, pride of place in the now restored wine rack.
How long it will last (the tidiness and the alcohol) is your guess as well as mine.
Dry January will probably help with the alcohol. The tidiness is another matter.
For now though, the wine rack is restored.
Next step, the cook book shelf-also a scene of ‘just put it up there’ at the farm.