I’m a big advocate of excuses. The dog ate my homework, that kind of thing.
Since being pregnant this time though, it seems I am milking these moods and hormones for all they are worth.
I have therefore come up with a foolproof list of things you can blame on pregnancy hormones. Feel free to use these yourselves.
Anger. Not just a bit of a mood. We’re talking full-on thigh shaking anger. For no reason. You know you’re being stupid but you can’t stop yourself and the only things to snap you out of this anger is either to throw something* or cry.
Violence*. I would like to clarify that I do not advocate violence in any form. However, whilst pregnant with Boo, I threw a butter knife at Hubster. I can’t remember why but it was probably because he said something disparaging about my cooking. I don’t feel I’ve reached that level in this pregnancy (yet) but I have said ‘I’ve got a knife in my hand’ a couple of time as a warning. It worked.
Sending your daughter to nursery with out of date food. Yes I did. How bad is that? Thankfully, one of the teachers spotted it and removed the offending article from the lunch box. I can just imagine them using the pregnancy card on my behalf. Oops.
Forgetting to feed the dog. I know, I know. Please don’t ring the RSPCA. She does remind me after a day by licking her empty bowl, bless her. I have a post-it note now to remind me. Poor Rosie.
Proof reading last month’s magazine. Yes it looked familiar but no I didn’t realise until I’d proofed the whole 64 pages. This happened when I was pregnant with Boo but it could well have been this time too. Thankfully, work took proofreading responsibilities away from me when I announced my pregnancy. Thanks for that.
Being unreasonable. Why are you crying? I don’t know. How can I help? I don’t know.
Just put up with me. It won’t last forever. I know I’m laughing hysterically one minute and sobbing like a baby the next but I can’t help it. The John Lewis advert has be every time. I can’t watch the news without crying (difficult in my line of work). I’ve sat crying at my desk reading stories on Press Association and frantically tried to hide it from my colleagues.
Accidental damage. I backed into Hubster’s new car. He had owned it about a month and I didn’t look behind me when I reversed in the yard. My hairdresser, quite rightly said more fool him for parking behind a pregnant woman, quite right, but still. I think it would have been grounds for divorce under normal circumstances but, he cooled down after a couple of hours and has been remarkably understanding about it all. He does park it about a mile away from my car now. Wise move, Hubster, wise move.
Forgetfulness. I’m not going to lie. I am forgetful anyway but pregnancy magnifies it at least 100 times. In my unpregnant self, I have turned up to a Take That concert the week after my ticket, missed many dentist appointments-to the point that they have brought in appointment text reminders for patients. Thanks for that. I manage to remember antenatal appointments, scans and doctors appointments etc for Boo. Anything else, has had it. Sorry.
In normal circumstances, hormones can usually be cured or at least soothed with wine. There is no chance of that at the moment though.
I am just so grateful for having such an understanding husband.
I may see how many more boxes of chocolates I can get in the next nine weeks.
If you can’t have a good excuse when you’re pregnant, when can you?