The birthdays of your own children can often be a bittersweet thing.
Each passing year means your babies are growing up. Finding their own way in the big wide world and slowly moving away from you as the centre of their universe.
I am being dramatic I suppose. My children are still small but with Boo turning six this year, it has got me thinking about birthdays in general.
Like New Year’s Eve, they are a time of reflection. How your child has progressed in the last year. How much they’ve grown. How much they have changed.
I am six years in with Boo now. Six years. It is a cliche when people say time goes so quickly but any parent will tell you, it really does.
Little G turned two this month too and his little life has flashed by in a heartbeat.
I get very melancholy around their birthdays. Maybe it is because they both fall in January, the most depressing month of the year. For us though, it is not depressing because of the birthday celebrations we are looking forward to.
When friends’ children have reached one, I have often said well done to the parents for getting through the first year.
In a way, every year is a milestone for a parent-even when they are in their thirties with children of their own.
I think about each of their births on the eve of their special day. What it was like having a newborn. How you thought those sleepless newborn days would never end.
I was actually heartbroken when G was one. I spent most of the previous day crying-much to the amusement of those around me and, even with the promise of a new baby this year, I still can’t help mourn the passing of time with my little ones.
From the minute they were placed in my arms. The minute the line showed up on the pregnancy test, these babies have been my life and as long as I breathe, they will continue to be so.
I try hard to be a good mum. I am not perfect-who is? I suppose it is my children who will be the judge of that.
My love for them is fierce though and I would walk on hot coals for them. Give my life for them. Much like any other parent would.
I will try and not be melancholy this year but I can’t promise a few little tears won’t be shed.
It is just the way I am.