When you think about having a baby, there are many things to consider.
Once you are blessed with one child though (or more) there is one thing that never really crosses your mind until the day for the new baby to be born grows close.
The truth is, I am dreading leaving my children when I go into hospital.
I can count the times Boo has slept at my mum’s house on one hand and poor little G has never been away from either his home or from me.
I am just so worried about them both.
I know my children. They don’t even have to speak and I know what they want and need.
I know their routines, what they do each day. What they like and the way they like things.
I know I can write reams and reams of lists but I might forget something or whoever reads the list might not realise how important one little thing is.
I am sure they will cope. I suppose they will have to but it still worries me.
I have never felt comfortable leaving them with anyone. Not because I don’t think anyone else could do it but because I don’t actually want to.
I did not have children to palm them off on someone else, no matter how tough parenting can be.
On the handful of times Hubster and I have gone out, someone has usually come to baby sit at our house and we put them to bed before we go and they never even know mummy and daddy have been out-save for the heels by the back door the next morning and probably some mascara down mummy’s face.
No. They are my children and my responsibility. Everyone is different but I just cannot leave them.
This is making my planning for hospital difficult because I am more worried about the children that what will happen in hospital. I suppose that’s not always a bad thing.
Boo was four when G came along and could understand to some extent what was happening. Poor G will understand nothing apart from the fact his mummy who has always been there is not. I am dreading him coming to visit me and crying. I cannot promise I will not cry too.
I have told Hubster that it is the children who are the priority so if that means I don’t get any visitors then so be it.
It is their happiness and wellbeing which must come first.
I am hoping the thought of leaving them is worse than it actually will be. I still can’t wait for it all to be over with and I can hopefully be back at home with all of my baby chicks.
I never thought of any of this when I was lusting after a newborn again.