My Journey to Reclusiveness

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Before I begin with this post, I just want to remind you that I grew up a city girl or at least in town.

I think I had visited one farm before I met Hubster and, while I loved animals, it was only small pets that had entered my life.

Even fir the first few years of our relationship, I was a farmer’s girlfriend and wife in name only. Yes, I dealt with the long hours if him being away from home.

It was only when we moved to the farm that I got it.

Hubster didn’t cope well when we lived in an ordinary house. We had neighbours, did DIY at weekends and managed very well to pretend that we were and ordinary couple, living an ordinary life in the suburbs.

I worked in the city. Still bought too many clothes and, before having Boo, we went out every Saturday night without fail.

Slowly though I changed.

Once we moved to the farm, I think I slowly stopped enjoying the city as much.

When I was younger, the hustle and bustle was so exciting. As the countryide got into my soul, the city began to slip out.

After I had G, I gave up work. Farmer’s Wife, Stay-at-Home-Mum, whatever you want to label me, my urge for bright lights and buy streets has given way to open fields and dark, eerie nights with dogs barking and sheep bleating.

We went on a day out over the school summer holidays and the place we went to was so busy with people that I started to feel a bit uncomfortable.

I no longer like to feel like a small fish in a big pond.

I don’t think the threat of terrorism has helped. While I understand it when people say we should carry on with life as normal and not let them win, I do get it. It doesn’t make me want to visit busy shopping centres any more though.

My worst nightmare would be for my children to die and for me to survive. I know that is a morbid thought but it is how I feel.

I have decided to not put myself in such situations very often. It is just how I am. Now.

On our busy day trip, I don’t even think the children enjoyed it very much. They are so used to open spaces that a crowded place is probably frightening for them.

I know we are lucky to have so much space to run round.

I am therefore ready to admit.

I am officially a semi-recluse. They only thing that hasn’t waned is my love of nice shoes.

There is always online shopping for that though.

This city girl is now a fully fledged farm girl.

*I’d like to thank the lovely Jennifer from My Mummy’s Pennies who let me use her crowd photo.