The 5 Worst Questions a Farmer Can Ask You

I am still learning about being married to a farmer. I still make mistakes. Mistakes I didn’t even know were mistakes until I felt the wrath of the farmer.

It can be as simple as opening a gate too quickly or not quickly enough. Living on a knife edge is par for the course but I have decided to share with you the five worse things a farmer can ask you.

Heed my warnings. At least you may be able to avoid making the same mistakes as I have.

1. What’s the weather going to do? Never, EVER answer this. Be like a politeician and avoid the question completely. I reply with things like ‘I don’t know, I haven’t seen the weather,’ the weather app on my phone isn’t loading’ or I’ll record the weather for you.’ The weather is too big a chance to take. If it does what the farmer doesn’t want it to do, the blame will be on you.

2. Shall we mow? Similar to weather but if the farmer asks if he should mow, he is basically asking if it is going to stay dry and one time, I said yes, it’s not going to rain. BIG MISTAKE. It rained. I got the blame. It is not worth the risk. I say ‘I can’t make that kind of decision.’

3. What date did we put the rams on? Unless you know the exact date and, to be honest, I should, you need to avoid this question too. If I have not made a note of the date, I look at a two week prior when it might have been and go for a week before that so that the ewes are in the right place and not lambing all over the place. Learn from my mistake though, write the date on the calendar.

4. Can you remember…No. No I can’t. Ive got so many dates going around in my head. When we put the rams on, when the kids break up for half term, doctors appointments. I have 117 diaries, desk calendars, wall calendars but none of them tally. Be organised.

5. What’s this (whilst eating whatever you have cooked him)? The worst question in my opinion. It means it doesn’t look like it should do or how he thought it would. The pork chop mistaken for chicken, a stew when he wanted a salad (I made that but up-this never happens) or worse still, cous cous.

*I can confirm that all of these questions may have been asked