XXX Farmer Porn

XXX WARNING CONTAINS GRAFFIC IMAGES OF FIELDS AND TRACTORS

Did you expect pictures of scantily clad women in bikinis leaning against tractors?

Sorry to disappoint. While I can’t promise that farmers don’t look at this type of porn, farmer porn is anything but naked unless you class a field without crops or an animal without clothes which, let’s face it, is every farm animal.

An experienced farmer’s wife once said to me: ‘the other woman in a farming relationship is the farm’ and those words are so true.

None-farming men quite often look at attractive women as they walk along the road. They might glance at the odd page three girl. Now, I’m not saying farmers don’t do this too but there is an addition. What I call famer porn.

In our house it starts on a Friday evening with the weekly farming papers. Checking out the latest machinery, livestock news and market prices.

If you ever go on a motorway with a farmer, make sure you drive, as motorways are the perfect place to experience farmer porn in all its glory. There are usually fields galore on both sides and farmers can’t help themselves but look at them wistfully through the window. Don’t take that chance.

Even driving on a-roads in rural areas prompts farmers to have a good old look at other people’s fields/cattle/hay bales.

 

 

What other industry can you look up animals mating or tractors running on YouTube and have a 90s rave tune as the background music?

My favourite is when there’s another tractor on the road. My farmer has a good old look checking out the other person’s ‘wheels’ and commenting whether it is a good make or not and how much it may have cost.

We have a framed picture of cow breeds in our kitchen and a tractor calendar on our wall. In the office we have a checklist of bull testicle health-I am not joking and another calendar which has farming advertising all the way around it.

I have definitely got the ‘nodding and smiling’ listening technique down to a tee. As soon as I hear words like ditch, baler, tractor, machinery or fencing I switch off and think about what’s for tea or the amount of ironing I have to do.

It’s a different world on the farm but I wouldn’t have it any other way.