If I was the Duchess of Cambridge…

If I’d been the Duchess of Cambridge, hours after giving birth…..

Forget the casual grab of Prince William’s hand, I’d have been leaning on carried down those steps by Hubster.

The hair? Try not washed for three days and still having sweat from labour in it. Nice.

The dress. Seriously. What newly-given-birth woman would choose a fabric with a pale background? As I turned round, there’d be an attractive smear of blood up the back. Possibly also so trickling down my legs.

The makeup? There’d be a bit of blusher to encourage the doctors to let me go home but certainly no more.

The shoes? Well, my ankles would still be swollen from pregnancy  so fake ugg boots in winter or flip flops in summer. Scrap that. Flip flops whatever the weather. Yes, even snow.

The baby. In Boo’s case, it would be a new, pink outfit, carefully chosen by my mum for going home. For Beb, well, whatever I threw into my bag, the day before birth. That includes his sister’s cast off pink vests. No one will know.

The siblings meet. Prince George waves sweetly to the waiting press. Boo is dragged to the ward by her grandparents because she hadn’t finished watching Ben and Holly and her new brother presented her with a doll. Not choc. Never to be forgiven.

That, my friends, is why I am only a princess in my head.


  1. Haha this was so me too! I still cannot believe how amazing she looked, so unrealistic and I actually felt sorry for her. I wanted nothing more than my pjs and to waddle out of there sharpish xx

  2. I think that’s exactly what I’d have been like instead. Unable to walk properly due to the stitches I had. Hair hanging around my shoulders after being left to dry of it’s own accord and no energy to do anything with it. Under that dress she’s just like the rest of us (for now).. breast/maternity pads, big knickers and a wobbly belly with leaky boobs. That’s as close as I’ll get to being like Kate after birth haha xx #maternitymondays

  3. hahaha!! Poor boo with no chocolate! We didn’t get chance for a present, oops!

    That said I do love Kates dress, I would wear that when I’ve shifted the baby weight and baby has stopped puking on me xx #maternitymondays

  4. Oh Emma, I totally know what you mean! I was basically waddling out of the labour unit about 4 hours after having Dylan and my hair looked like I’d been dragged through a bush! She is lucky in the fact that she had a hair dresser and stylist help her look so good, but to be honest I think I had it better off being able to waddle to my car without any press documenting it! 😉 xx

  5. lol! This made me chuckle! I was exactly the same. I didn’t have the energy to care about what I looked like! Kudos to her though and her entourage – wish I could’ve looked that good!X

    1. I didn’t either. Naively, with Beb, I took nail varnish in with me-what a joke hahaha needless to say, I came home 4 days later, still with unpainted nails 😉

  6. Even in my naivety as a first time young mum when I was 19 I never would have considered a white dress or heels! As a second time mum at 31 it was leggings, flip flops & a messy bun all the way #MaternityMonday

  7. haha it is a bit barmy how amazing she looked and kind of sad that that is how she felt she had to look. I guess we would all be able to look that amazing post birth if we had a team of stylists etc… but who could be arsed to make that effort when you’ve just given birth?? xx

  8. I bet all she wanted to do was curl up in bed or on the sofa in her pj’s and yet she put on a show for the nation because everyone would have picked on her if she hadn’t ( well. not everyone). I just waddled around the ward in my joggers! #maternitymondays

  9. I’m a.princess in my head too! Great post – she obviously had an easy labour as you can’t fake a glow that glowy! Good on her I say, but I will never look like that!!

  10. 🙂 O yes … I think that’s why many of us are princesses in our heads. I definitely won’t be coming out smiling and all radiant. I wonder how much time and personnel it took to get her going. She’s done well; takes lot to be in that position. #MaternityMatters

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